Somalia laments another year of Wimbledon frustration
Endemic tribal warfare, drought, disease, poverty – they are all major concerns to the 4.7 million people of Somalia, but not compared with the certain knowledge that, even as the tournament starts,...
View ArticleHysterical laughter stops play at Wimbledon after man shouts ‘Come on Tim!’
There was an outbreak of mass hysteria at The All England Tennis Championships today after a member of the audience shouted ‘Come on Tim!’ even though there was nobody called Tim actually playing....
View ArticleVictorious Andy Murray now ‘on course’ to become TV pundit
US Open tennis champion Andy Murray is reported to be overjoyed after his first grand slam victory virtually guaranteed him a career discussing how good or bad other people are at tennis on a major...
View ArticleReferendum forces Britain to face prospect of being sh*t at tennis again
The worrying prospect of Britain returning to a status of national tennis shame has topped a list of concerns in the results of an online poll issued to England, Wales and Northern Ireland today,...
View ArticleOne dead as Andy Murray celebrates Game of Thrones return with Dothraki wedding
Andy Murray celebrated his wedding day in style yesterday with a Dothraki wedding in Dunblane. The Wimbledon winner turned down the usual offers from Hello and OK for the rights to his wedding, and was...
View ArticleTim Henman out of Wimbledon commentary box
To the disappointment of a nation of tennis fans, ‘Tiger’ Tim Henman is out of Wimbledon yet again, this time finding himself ousted from the TV commentary box by an unknown Italian sports anchor. A...
View ArticleAndy Murray comes on
Andy Murray has decided to take the advice proffered by his coach, family, wife and multitude of fans and come on. He says that he has now realised that despite being in the world top four for many...
View ArticleAndy Murray turns down News Anchor offer to focus on tennis
The BBC has confirmed it has offered Andy Murray a lucrative contract to anchor its flagship nightly Ten O’Clock News programme. The move follows Murray’s acclaimed debut as Wimbledon pundit earlier...
View ArticleSir Cliff to spend his winnings on a living doll
Sir Cliff Richard plans to use the £850,000 he won from the BBC on a ‘special friend’ that he can lock in a trunk, without the need for a non-disclosure agreement, no strings attached but a good...
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